
Most of us have experienced it at some point: “There’s no going back.”
That’s one of the big differences between change and transformation.
With transformation, there is no ‘back there’ to return to, because ‘back there’ is rubble. Probably smoking rubble. Well-burnt toast.
We’ve been places, created things, experienced relationships, lost much, and have left (or been wrenched from) things and people as Life took us into radically new territory and explorations.
If we’ve been traveling a transformation path, our very way of perceiving and believing has been irrevocably altered.
We’ve crossed through threshold after threshold.
Sometimes these Wisdom-initiating shifts and transformation detours come via more radical means: the archetypal ‘shamanic lightning bolt’ (and shamanic ego ‘dismemberment’ and/or death), or by way of what the vision-poet writer Fiona MacLeod called the ‘dark and starless roads.’

If we’re lucky, in hindsight we see these life-altering events and seemingly meandering paths with refreshed eyes and a transformed mind. Maybe even with a bit of new wisdom.
Suddenly our seeing opens and we can discern the connections — the path of breadcrumbs through the forest we meandered and muddled our way through.
We hear the Deep-Soul whispers, as David Wagoner wrote in his poem, Lost:
“You are surely lost. Stand still.
The forest knows Where you are.
You must let it find you.”
We may begin to see that our crazy-wisdom ‘detour’ or ‘off the map’ four-wheeling adventure has allowed us a deeper experience and understanding of old conditioning and its patterns, and certain ideas or values that we truly hold dear.
We ‘get it’ more than we ever did. It’s a form of rebirth.
This is a vital remembering in these highly transformative, threshold-rich times, when more and more find themselves — ourselves — for the first time, or yet again, in the Dark Forest or Dark Night or Starless-Night-Sea, where we learn to see and hear with the eyes of the Heart.
We learn to see with our Other Eyes, as I was told in one vivid archetypal dream. We begin to remember, deeply.

There are a lot of people I know — and many I don’t know yet or may never know — who feel or have felt like they’re off-road or off-path, on that unexpected detour without map or compass. They feel like they’re muddling their way through the dark forest and “know it not” (as Dante said).
I’ve known this place, too. I know it now.
Perhaps for some of us, it is the ‘new normal’.
After all, someone needs to be leaving shiny breadcrumbs, lighting candles, standing vigil, and holding lanterns for other Forest Walkers, yes? Perhaps long ago, before coming into this life, you volunteered, too?
If you’re one of this Soul-remembering ‘transformation tribe’, I share this for you, so you can know that even though it feels muddled and directionless, there is a path, and there will be a place where you’ll look back and see the path with new eyes and a new understanding, aware of the the gifts you picked up along the way.
[Image from the Telegraph U.K.]
“But you … you are of the little clan, for whom this book is: you who have gone upon dark ways, and have known the starless road, and perchance on that obscure way learned what we have yet to learn. Let me be not only of your fellowship but of that little scattered clan to whom the wild bees of the spirit come, as secret wings in the dark, with the sound and breath of forgotten things.”
The wild-bee wisdom and the ‘forgotten things’ you’ve been gathering and remembering along that ‘dark and starless road’ are the medicine for these times.
If you’re looking for a ‘been there’ lantern-holder as you travel the Via Transformativa … the Epic Transformation Path … send me an email: jamie ‘at’ sophias-children ‘dot’ com.
Big Love,
P.S. Gather your wild-bee wisdom, reclaim your compass of Wild Knowing, and cultivate your unique ‘medicine’ for the world — check out the Special Offerings for Now in the Current Specials – Readings, Consultations, Programs.
This post is an updated version of one of my earlier blog posts from early 2011 and in 2013.
July 25, 2013 at 12:17 am
I want to join sophias children. I’ve been in the dark forest for a long time. Most of the time I remember how fortunate I am to be here, but sometimes I forget what I’m doing, and most of the time I don’t know where I’m going. It’s lonely here, and I think I try to fill the loneliness with experiences or things that used to soothe me before I entered this luminous dark in which I now dwell.
July 25, 2013 at 12:53 am
Thank you for sharing from your experience, Geri. It can seem very lonely, indeed – I’m guessing that’s something many of us can relate to. The good news … you are one of Sophia’s Children. And there are others of us out here. So glad you connected. xoxo Jamie
July 26, 2013 at 1:29 pm
Thank you, Jamie. Where does the term Wild Bee Wisdom originate? I learned about walking the dark path by studying the Christian Mystics and the Via Negativa; Dark Night of The Soul. But, I’m always interested in drawing parallels from other belief systems.
July 26, 2013 at 1:35 pm
Greetings, Geri. Much of the wisdom that guided me came from the Christian mystics and writings on the ‘via negativa’ and Dark (Black) Madonna as well (often in the midst or after the fact), though teachers from other paths arose as well – indigenous (shamanic), Eastern, etc. The term ‘wild bees of wisdom’ appears in Irish (etc) myths, e.g. the stories shared by Fiona MacLeod (aka William Sharp) … an excerpt from him appears at the bottom of the blog entry. You’ll find lots of writings in Sophia’s Children on these and related topics, too. Love, Jamie
July 25, 2013 at 2:47 pm
I didn’t realize that I was not the only one on this ‘Road’. It seems all my life I’ve been going down this path. I’m fortunate to know that this loneliness is for an enlightening future and purpose. It would be nice to meet some of my fellow wanderers at a crossroad to share what most people could not understand and even I, until reading ‘Wild Bee Wisdom.’ didn’t know. I will no longer fear the Dark and Lonely Road.
Blessings, Cindy
March 18, 2016 at 4:06 pm
Reblogged this on Sophia's Children and commented:
The ‘Wild Bee Wisdom’ from Fiona MacLeod and David Wagoner spiraled up again to the surface in a conversation this morning with a fellow Via Transformativa sister.
I have deep appreciation for just how timeless this wisdom and inspiration is, so wanted to share that again in this freshly updated piece from the Sophia’s Children treasure-vaults.
If you’re of ‘this little clan’, as Fiona MacLeod wrote, you’ll recognize yourself in this.
Big Love,
Jamie
March 19, 2016 at 8:32 pm
Thanks, Jamie. Greetings and affirmation from one of the clan, for this beautiful post – and that quote from Fiona Macleod which I just loved : “…that little scattered clan to whom the wild bees of the spirit come, as secret wings in the dark, with the sound and breath of forgotten things.”
March 20, 2016 at 4:39 pm
You’re welcome, Anne. And yes, I’m feeling sufficiently Pisces-Neptune’d that the Gael-Celt vision-poets/poet-seers seem to make the most sense. 🙂 I know what you mean about the Fiona Macleod snippet … that’s a gem to be sure, for we who are of the little clan that walks these ways, yes?
xo Jamie
April 15, 2017 at 1:47 pm
Hi Jamie — I truly enjoyed and resonated with this post. How many times have I turned around to look for the path I just traversed, only to find — nothing! Yikes! That can be disturbing at best. My life of perpetual transition. Luminous “breadcrumbs” visible only to the inner eye and fear in my mind so prominent that no inner sight is available — that’s a really dark place!
However (and one can never be sure of what I’m about to say next) there does come a time — I think it has for me — when the dark is no longer a frightening place and the fear subsides and the glowing breadcrumbs — led lights? — become visible and the path lights up in both directions. All the little insects fly about on their sacred missions and I recognize that I am and have been on mine even when I “knew it not.” A most blessed Easter to you, Alia
April 15, 2017 at 3:02 pm
Wonderful, Alia. I’m glad this musing resonated with you, and appreciate what you’ve shared in your comment. Some of the mystics of old (and now) called it the ‘Dazzling Darkness’, perhaps for just that reason. After awhile, we journey through the fear-layers attributed to the darkness and ‘not knowing’ and begin to see glimpses of the Dazzling Darkness … like fireflies. 🙂 Many thanks, and a happy Easter to you as well. xoxo Jamie
April 17, 2017 at 2:30 pm
Oooo — I like that — The Dazzling Darkness! Thank you, Alia
April 30, 2017 at 11:47 pm
“There is in God (some say)
A deep, but dazzling darkness”
— Henry Vaughan
I’m fairly sure others have used that phrase, in spirit if not exact words, as well. There’s a sensed-richness to it, isn’t there?
May 9, 2017 at 1:57 pm
Yes!
April 16, 2017 at 9:23 pm
The title of this post spoke to me Jamie, I love the idea of the forest finding you even when you feel as though you’re off-path and I would love to think I was one of this scattered clan!
April 16, 2017 at 9:57 pm
Thank you, Andrea. I was also moved by David Wagoner’s poem (Lost) and the Fiona MacLeod excerpt hand-written on the inside cover of the wee book. I’m guessing that if the ‘scattered clan’ message resonates with and moves you, you’re one of the scattered clan. 🙂 Here’s the full excerpt (and its context … a lovely, soulful musing) from Fiona MacLeod as well:
“But you–you are of the little clan, for whom this book is: you who have gone upon dark ways, and have known the starless road, and perchance on that obscure way learned what we have yet to learn. For you, and such as you, it is still a pleasure to gather bindweed of thoughts and dreams; still a pleasure to set these dreams, these thoughts, to the airs and pauses and harmonies of considered speech. So, by your acceptance of this book, let me be not only of your fellowship but of that little scattered clan to whom the wild bees of the spirit come, as secret wings in the dark, with the sound and breath of forgotten things.”
You’ll find the full intro here:
http://www.sundown.pair.com/SundownShores/Volume_V/dedication.htm
xo Jamie