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Sophia's Children

Living and Leading the Transformation.

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Dysfunctional and Toxic Interpersonal Patterns

Dealing With Sanctimonious A**es (And What We Can Learn From Them)

Yes, I do mean what you think I mean by "sanctimonious a**es." It made sense to get right to it, rather than hedge with more gentle, round-about language, since I noticed a theme arising. 'Tis the season, in line with... Continue Reading →

Energies of Now: The Fiery Indie-Dragon Stirs (and Some Elemental Help)

It's Independence Day week in the U.S., and the Energies of Now feature the fiery electrical currents of the metaphorical fire-breathing Dragon, along with elemental support to soothe and ground. Depending on our awareness and discernment, of course. As always.... Continue Reading →

Dehumanizing Abuse of Power. And Rehumanizing …

“When power is used in a non-consensual situation, it is a wrong. Men who improperly harass or assault do not do so because they are gay or straight — that is a deflection. They do so because they have the... Continue Reading →

Savor the Moment, Deepen Intimacy

“You see, there is a tendency to talk about the moment, more than to savor the moment.” ~ Debra K. Fileta, The Effect of Social Media on Relationships, Relevant Magazine It's not just about technology, of course; "Smart Phones" and... Continue Reading →

BlogShare: Another False Prophet Bites the Dust (From EER blog)

Bobbie explores the 'outing' of yet another celebrity faux-guru, along with the greed-reveal of a miserly celebrity American bling-worshipping, integrity-challenged mega-church preacher, in her The Shift Has Hit the Fan blog post, "Another One Bites the Dust." This, along with... Continue Reading →

The Harm of Overheated Talk

“I’ve been on a soapbox for months now about the harm that our overheated talk is doing to us. Yes it mobilizes supporters—but by mobilizing them with hysterical accusations and pseudo-information, overheated talk has made it impossible for representatives to... Continue Reading →

Energy Weather: Waves, Recalibrations, and NarciPath Management

I'm writing this on Day Two of our snow-infused Winter Wonderland here in New York, with at least two feet of fresh snow since the wee hours Tuesday. In case we were confused about it, Mother Nature has, once again,... Continue Reading →

Oh Those NarciPaths – Shahida’s “20 Narci Tactics”

I'd usually just reblog this one, but the reblog format is funky. So I'm just going to say this: Shahida Arabi, via her Self-Care Haven blog, recently posted an excellent summary of 20 often-used Bully and NarciPath tactics. I shared... Continue Reading →

The Threat at My Door and Wild Grace Arising

It’s a record, I think, for me to have been away from Sophia’s Children (and, for the most part,  “radio silence” from the internet altogether) this long. There’s a reason for that -- threats at the door, literally, and super-quick... Continue Reading →

BlogShare: Who We Invite to Tea – From Janet at M+M blog

I appreciated the collection of musings and blog-shares that artist and fellow blog-sister Janet Chui shared in her blog post. Janet gathered up a few of her favorite web-finds and musings of recent days, and the selection includes an invocation... Continue Reading →

Listening, Empathy and Shouted-Down Doubt

" ... it’s just a clear example of people not listening. They are just not listening. I want to say, “Read my lips. This is how I feel, and it is my experience. And it is my own, and it’s... Continue Reading →

Empath-Sensitives and M-Fields

This 'empaths & energy fields' topic has been percolating for quite awhile, based on what I’ve noticed over recent years of experience, for better and for worse. More recently, I’ve revisited with a couple of different ‘works’ related to the... Continue Reading →

Museworthy Quote: An Imagination Cleanse

"Imaginal hygiene is the inner art of self-managing the imagination, to defend it from forces that compromise, pollute, colonize, shrink, and sterilize it, and to cultivate those that illuminate, expand, and nourish it." ~ M. T. Xen, by way of... Continue Reading →

The Beauty Way of Relating

Are you feeling an growing call towards greater harmony, beauty, and social artistry? Or are you noticing, or even mired in, their opposites -- disharmony, conflict, relational dysfunction -- which are seemingly over-abundant in the world right about now? I'll... Continue Reading →

Narrow Mind. Spacious Mind.

nar·row-mind·ed. adjective. "A person with a limited outlook who is unwilling to consider alternative ideas, perspectives or thoughts. An example of narrow minded is a person who has a strong political position and who will not even listen to debates... Continue Reading →

Placebo Nocebo: Prediction and Word-Power

"Time-based prophecies that kept me from living, in the moment I am struggling to trust the divinity ... " ~ Nahko Bear This is a wee bit of a rant, though mild as possible rant-ampage can go. In recent weeks,... Continue Reading →

On Slowing Down and De-Cloning.

“It is harder than it used to be because everything has become speeded up and overcrowded. So everything that slows us down and forces patience, everything that sets us back into the slow circles of nature, is a help. There... Continue Reading →

QuoteWorthy: Sticks, Stones and Word-Power

Remember that old saying you might have heard in childhood? “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me” While timeless wisdom and ancestral/indigenous traditions would well understand this, modern research now also confirms that words... Continue Reading →

Empath-Sensitives and Psychic Pollution

"Just as there is physical pollution, so there is a type of psychic pollution in the world. And that is the psychic soup in which we live." "The more open and the more sensitive and the more evolved you are,... Continue Reading →

Wildly Pronoiac Attitude Adjusters from the Babemba and Og

Both of these Attitude Adjusters brought to you by Rob Brezsny's Pronoia is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. I've been enjoying yet another (re)visit with this perception-shifting gem -- it's... Continue Reading →

Angry People. Stay calm and keep on walking.

Mabel Normand in the 1914 Chaplin film, Mable's Strange Predicament. Image is public domain and courtesy of Wikipedia.
Mabel Normand in the 1914 Chaplin film, Mable’s Strange Predicament. Image is public domain and courtesy of Wikipedia.

This is a good reminder from Laurie Rohner, since the Energies of Now may well stir up the ol’ Hissy Fits and Tantrum Yoga outbursts, and the drama-drama-conflama moments.

Full moon, lots of zap-zone energetics buzzing around, and the ups-and-downs potentials of fiery and watery, yang and yin astro-energies (a.k.a. the energy field we live, breath, and interact in!).

Stay present, stay cool, and have your ‘soothing remedies’ at the ready!

(Head to the Sophia’s Children Empaths & Sensitives Series for other timely tips on ‘Hissy Fitters’ and ‘soothing remedies’!).

Big Love, Deep Breaths, and and a nice cup of cucumber, lavender and peppermint tea!
Jamie

Laurie Rohner Studio

watercolor illustration by Laurie Rohner Think of a peaceful place and let the anger go.

Let me share a story with you.

Yesterday an email hit my inbox from Etsy. It was for a custom order. I opened the email and found this young women ranting with profanity about how I had sent her a twitter feed and to stop it. Now I admit I don’t know how things work but I do know that this was her issue – not mine. I replied back explaining I had nothing to do with her feed being filled up with my etsy posts – 5 to be exact –  and she was not to contact shop owners through the custom order request. I said I was sorry this happened and wish her a better day. She then shot me another scathing email how she has reported me to twitter – hum don’t understand why – and that…

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Leaning Into Your Strengths – Empaths and Sensitives Series

Here's the latest article in the Empaths & Sensitives Series here at Sophia's Children. This one takes a look at a couple of ways that Empath-Sensitives can "live into their strengths" and gain more mastery over the gifts, while being more aware and skillful in the face of the challenges of being an Empathic-Sensitive in a loud and often bully- and Narcipath-favoring culture.

Mercury+Pluto: Tetchy, Combustible Muck or … the Golden Thread

“If you can keep your head when all about you people are losing theirs and blaming it on you…” ~ Rudyard Kipling You know how there are those times when people seem to be more on the edge than usual... Continue Reading →

Happy Holy Days: We All Start Out Knowing Magic

The Nativity by the Danish Artist Carl Heindrich Bloch (1834-1890).
The Nativity by the Danish Artist Carl Heindrich Bloch (1834-1890).

As we near the gateway to these year-end Holy Days, I’m wishing you a magical and wondrous Solstice, Christmas, and holy days passage, however you celebrate them.

Remember, too: We’ve got a Christmas Day Full Moon adding both illumination and energetic-psychic voltage, so may we all go gently, easily tend (and manage to keep) our center, and be filled with the greater joy and blessing of this time of the year.

And just in case you need some ‘on the fly’ restoration and handy tips for keeping your center amidst the whirl and swirl?

You’ll find a generous supply in the Resources for Empaths & Sensitives series, and the new Chaos Surfer’s Medicine eBundle in the ‘Current Specials’.

Lots of love,
Jamie

Sophia's Children

Il Barbagianni, The Owl, by 1862, Valentine Cameron Prinsep. Il Barbagianni, The Owl, by 1862, Valentine Cameron Prinsep.

“We all start out knowing magic. We are born with whirlwinds, forest fires, and comets inside us. We are born able to sing to birds and read the clouds and see our destiny in grains of sand.

But then we get the magic educated right out of our souls. We get it churched out, spanked out, washed out, and combed out. We get put on the straight and narrow path and told to be responsible. Told to act our age. Told to grow up, for God’s sake.

And you know why we were told that? Because the people doing the telling were afraid of our wildness and youth, and because the magic we knew made them ashamed and sad of what they’d allowed to wither in themselves.”

~ Robert R. McCammon, American Novelist, Boy’s Life (1991)

Here’s to reclaiming the…

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Empaths, Energy Hazards, and Restorative Practices

It seems like a fine time for an update and re-feature of this ‘evergreen’ topic!

Big Love (and Be Well),
Jamie

Sophia's Children

Storm and lightning
photo from NOAA

[I wrote and published the original post way back on August 28, 2012, and have updated it several times a year since, including late-September 2015 … because yes, it’s a timeless “new normal” topic in our wild-energy times!]

The energies have really been swirling and whirling again, and there is more ‘energetic unsettlement’ underway.

Have you been feeling it?

If you’re an empath or ‘energy sensitive’ — a minority percentage of any population who is naturally ‘wired’ to pick up on subtle energies — the answer is probably a definitive ‘Yes!’ I know that’s been the case for me.

In various energy alchemy and insight-checkin or even visioning sessions with clients, I regularly notice that the energy field in general was intermittently either more chaotic or the opposite, more flat-line, than I’ve seen and sensed it in a long while.

No wonder we might be

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Lion’s Gate, 888, and Intel on Internet Trolls and Angry Fellas

As ever, I've been enjoying two recent articles from my blog-sister Janet Chui's Magic & Meditation blog, and want to share both with you. Have a look and you'll see why. Each is like a mini feast, each in its... Continue Reading →

A Disturbance in the PsychoSphere – Guest Post

My friend Molly Hall at the Wild Bee Farmlet has shared another insightful and heartful perspective on the energies, questions, and opportunities of now. She writes of a "disturbance in the psycho-sphere," and asks, "Do you believe everything you see... Continue Reading →

Interconnection in a Culture of ‘Lonely Molecules’

“Specialization makes sleepwalkers of us all. The global village predicted by the seers of the 1960’s is being replaced by electronic cottages populated by isolated dreamers. We do not know our neighbors. If we are financial experts, we are speechless... Continue Reading →

Deconstructing Bully Culture: Shaming Class, Poverty, and Difference; and Those Who Stand

"But human beings are not trash. We are the civilizing force on the planet." ~ Chris Offutt, "Trash Food" I came across a couple of articles this morning that stirred the fire-pot ... you know, that liquid lava center that... Continue Reading →

Reclaiming Your Power from Unconstructive Criticism

When I saw this article from Rick Hanson, it took all of a nanosecond for me to recognize the pattern he's talking about. It's one that can make me wince just thinking about it, though it's common enough. In the... Continue Reading →

The Ways Narcissists Get Inside Your Head – from Self-Care Haven

My Bad Hair Day, by Anissa Bryant, April 2013. Generously shared in the public domain.
My Bad Hair Day, by Anissa Bryant, April 2013. Generously shared in the public domain.

I linked to Shahida Arabi’s excellent “Five Powerful Ways Abusive Narcissists Get Inside Your Headin my Sophia’s Children post on “When Withholding is a Toxic Tactic” (part of the ongoing Resources for Empaths & Sensitives Series).

But it’s so relevant on a number of levels, reflecting some of the less savory interpersonal dynamics that are considered normal in our interpersonal experiences at home, at work, in the community — and even moreso with a variety of research studies showing a disconcerting rise in Narcissistic behavior over the last 10-15 years.

And Narci (Etc.) tactics are well-honed and very, very effective.

They can leave even the most centered, confident, skillful, aware, and ‘successful’ people feeling spin-cycled, fogged-out, confused, upset, ashamed, and ultimately, a mere shell of themselves (as one Narci-abuse survivor, in our conversation, phrased the effects of being in a relationship with such a person).

As Carrie Barron, M.D., writes in her Psychology Today article aimed at those who were targeted by Narci-Abusers:

“Recent findings indicate they take pleasure in successful manipulations. Putting down unsuspecting, soft-hearted souls in their midst is a sport.”

In hindsight, those who became Narci-prey and were thus Narci-manipulated end up wondering, often with no small degree of internalized self-judgment and shame, “How the heck did that happen?”

Dr. Barron continues: “The transformation of a hopeful, can-do enthusiast into a dismal, wary withdrawer is a form of soul murder. But to those thus violated, take heart. Understanding the complexities of what/who you were dealing with might make you feel better.”

Even people who encounter some of the classic Narci-Abuser behaviors and tactics — if not full-tilt Malignant Narcissists or Socio/Psychopathic types — at work, at home, or in their communities (or online, for that matter), can benefit immensely from recognizing the tactic, becoming more aware, and stepping into more empowered choice rather than unconscious puppet-reaction.

So I wanted to share a couple of other links highlighting Shahida’s work from her Self-Care Haven blog.

She spotlights some of the specific toxic-tactics that, while normalized in a ‘tough love’, bully-centric culture, are actually abusive and harmful.

So it’s wise to have a look and be better able to recognize them as they come up, which gives us the option of practicing into more healthy, self-and-other respecting ways of relating (or choosing to disentangle from chronically disrespectful relationships).

I particularly appreciate that Shahida includes ‘Triangulation’ in her list of toxic-tactics to recognize, along with other common toxic-tactics like ‘gaslighting’ and ‘Hoovering’ (part of the recognized ‘stir and repeat’ Abuse Cycle), as Triangulation a common ploy and yet not as frequently noted.

Find another of Shahida’s Narci-Awareness posts here: 20 NarciPath Tactics to Be Aware of (and awareness is empowering)

https://sophias-children.com/2017/02/24/oh-those-narcipaths-shahidas-20-narci-tactics/

Check out Shahida’s most recent Self-Care Haven post: 5 Powerful Reality Checks for Survivors of Narci-Abuse.

Thanks to Shahida, and to you, my very dear and much-appreciated readers and fellow empaths and Sophia-kindred-spirits!

Big Love,
Jamie

Self-Care Haven by Shahida Arabi

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In popular culture, the term “narcissistic” is thrown about quite loosely, usually referring to vanity and self-absorption. This reduces narcissism to a common quality that everyone possesses and downplays the symptoms demonstrated by people with the actual disorder. While narcissism does exist on a spectrum, narcissism as a full-fledged personality disorder is quite different.

People who meet the criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder or those who have traits of Antisocial Personality Disorder  can operate in extremely manipulative ways within the context of intimate relationships due to their deceitfulness, lack of empathy and their tendency to be interpersonally exploitative. Although I will be focusing on narcissistic abusers in this post, due to the overlap of symptoms in these two disorders, this post can potentially apply to interactions with those who have ASPD to an extent.

It’s important in any kind of relationship that we learn to identify the red flags when interacting with people who display malignant narcissism and/or…

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Empaths+Sensitives Series: When ‘Withholding’ is a Toxic Tactic

That's right. Withholding as a toxic-normal interpersonal tactic. The proverbial simmering silent treatment or cold shoulder that leaves us (or others) wondering what the heck happened, what we did wrong (even if we didn't actually do anything wrong and sort... Continue Reading →

Resources for Empaths and Sensitives Series

Ahhh, to be an actual, 'just wired that way' Empath -- One who is naturally made to be more sensitive to the energy currents (subtle and not-so-subtle), including the thoughts and  emotions wafting and swirling around us at any given moment.... Continue Reading →

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