The Empaths & Sensitives Series (and Sophia’s Children in general) shares fruit that has grown out of my own journey — 25-plus years specializing in “big change, high-conflict, difficult communication” consulting; through the Underworld of re-awakening to these gifts and this way; and growing up and living as an empathic-sensitive in a family and a culture that most often has lionized and exalted the opposite.
Here’s another installment in this series for fellow Empath-Sensitives … and others. These are always good reminders for each of us as we lean into our gifts and strengths … and purpose, from right now and right where we are.
To be an empathic sensitive is, by the very nature (and corresponding statistics) of it, to be in a minority — most research consistently puts introverts as well as empathic-sensitives in a ‘less than 1 in 5’ percentage of the overall populace.
So it’s a specialized role, as accorded and designed by Nature.
Many cultures over time have respected, understood, appreciated, and trained those born into those gifts to play their part, assume that role in the communities and times in which they lived.
In Western culture though, more and moreso as the culture became separated from its indigenous-soul and wisdom roots, the gifts and qualities of an empathic, sensitive nature have been misunderstood, marginalized, shamed, scoffed at, discouraged, abused, pharma-numbed, and even demonized.
In more recent years, we see more and more about what it’s like to live as an empathic sensitive in a noisy and often bully-accommodating culture; and a bit more affirmation about the actual gifts that empathic sensitives bring into relationships, the culture, workplaces, and so on. Progress … yay!
To bring those gifts, though, empath-sensitives often have to shuck the old conditioned normal and consciously embrace an intention and path of what I’ll call “leaning into your strengths” and away from the toxic-normal conditioning — even while still living in a culture that very much still favors the toxic-normal.
No one’s going to hand that to us on a silver platter, in other words. It’s ours to practice into, and of course we can become role models, believing mirrors, and ‘special agents’ of affirmation for these ways of being and their place as ‘good medicine’ in the culture and these times.
Here are a few of the ways we can lean into our strengths:
• Let your triggers teach you:
We all get our buttons pushed … a.k.a. triggered. There is an energetic, psychological, and physiological aspect to getting triggered, as we know if we think of a time when it’s happened.
It also ‘trips’ a reaction rather than a response. In my “difficult change, difficult communication” consulting, one way to explain this reaction-vs-response to triggers was called The Ladder of Inference (you’ll find an Ivy Sea Online article on that here).
It can often seem like we’re the victim of ‘trigger happy’ people, but we can also step into our Sovereign Center and begin to track when we’re triggered, what’s triggered us, and what that tells us.
And then we can begin to see the triggers as communication that allows us to reveal patterns and make different choices about how we participate in those patterns. It’s a practice, not an instant happy pill, but it offers empowerment and rewards.
• Be aware of common Narcipath tactics:
The Empaths & Sensitives Series is rich with articles on some of the most common Narcipath tactics, all shared from the perspective of empowering us rather than keeping us in finger-pointing, blaming, victim status (yes, people are victimized, but setting up house in that space is ultimately demoralizing and defeating).
Some of those common Narcipath tactics and strategies include things like leveling, offloading, intentional (and meaningless) provocation, gaslighting, triangulation, blame-storming, and masterful ‘story control’ or p.r. propaganda.
By becoming aware of the patterns and common strategies, we can take a step back from the conditioned reaction habit, allow a bit more space for discernment and seeing, and begin to choose a healthier, more empowering and skillful response.
• Lean into healthy boundaries:
This is actually one of the main themes of this year’s astrological-energetic headliners, the Saturn-Neptune Square.
Empaths are by nature, and purpose, sensitive — ‘wired’ that way physiologically, which means Nature, Life in all her genius, has a reason for that. It’s not a deformity or a dysfunction, despite the cultural messaging. (It’s often evident in the individual’s astrology blueprint or natal chart, too.)
But given the cultural toxic-normal conditioning, we often have some cleanup work to do when it comes to healthy boundaries, drawing a line when it comes to chronically disrespectful, abusive, bullying interactions.
First and foremost, it’s for us to recognize and require these things, first within ourselves, and then in practice. We can’t control what someone else does, chooses, or prefers, but we can make the choices and draw the lines for what’s respectful and healthy for us. Then we mirror that as well.
You’ll find a selection of ‘audio minis’ on responses and communication ‘on the fly’ tactics in the Chaos Surfers & Empaths eBundle (see the Current Specials page for more on that).
• Ration (and balance) common sensitivity spikers:
There are things that heighten, and spike, sensitivity even more, including certain foods, not getting enough quiet time or rest, too much ‘stimulus overload’ and not enough energy hygiene, “tron pollution” — EMFs, electronics, tech-overload (it throws static electricity, and that’d be in the Vata category in Ayurveda … amps up anxiousness, etc.).
Stepping into our sovereignty and experimenting into the right balance of these things, making wiser choices, and then increasing our energy hygiene I.Q. makes a significant difference.
After all, it’s really hard to be skillful, to draw the line, to manage our energy well when we’re over-sensitized and fatigued.
• Practice into your Sovereign Center:
This is really what all of the above are in service to and part of … stepping into or reclaiming our own authority … authorship of our own lives, to the degree we have control of it (and there are some things we don’t have control of … realizing that can be another strategy, and a relief!).
There are no doubt more, and each of these is a valuable practice area in and of itself, but they all bring rewards that allow us to better bring the gifts, stand for who and what we are, and recognize the gifts and purpose that being empath-sensitive contribute.
To strengthen these skills and lean into your strengths and sovereignty — and gain a better sense of the strategies I shared above and your own gifts and purpose — take a look at the current Special Offers for Intuitive Astrology readings and related consultation and program options.