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Sophia's Children

Living and Leading the Transformation.

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Bully Culture

Blog-share: Surviving or Thriving? Mental Health and Wellbeing.

Here's a thought-and-heart-stirring post from Jessica Davidson about Mental Health Awareness Week (in the U.K.): "It’s Mental Health Awareness Week and this year the focus is on why people struggle to thrive with good mental health. Instead of looking at... Continue Reading →

Mystic Activists and Phoenixes Rising

It's always something of a wonder to me the things that spiral back around to be seen, engaged, and expressed anew, fertilized by the richness of experience and 'rigorous initiations' between one arising and the next. Back in 2005, in... Continue Reading →

The Harm of Overheated Talk

“I’ve been on a soapbox for months now about the harm that our overheated talk is doing to us. Yes it mobilizes supporters—but by mobilizing them with hysterical accusations and pseudo-information, overheated talk has made it impossible for representatives to... Continue Reading →

Oh Those NarciPaths – Shahida’s “20 Narci Tactics”

I'd usually just reblog this one, but the reblog format is funky. So I'm just going to say this: Shahida Arabi, via her Self-Care Haven blog, recently posted an excellent summary of 20 often-used Bully and NarciPath tactics. I shared... Continue Reading →

The (Healed) Feminine – Medicine for Our Times

See how you respond, or react, to this quote, and then read on … it’s what this musing is about. “In fact, (Professor Miranda) Shaw learned that … women were to be worshipped, honored and revered as the bringers of... Continue Reading →

The Threat at My Door and Wild Grace Arising

It’s a record, I think, for me to have been away from Sophia’s Children (and, for the most part,  “radio silence” from the internet altogether) this long. There’s a reason for that -- threats at the door, literally, and super-quick... Continue Reading →

BlogShare: Who We Invite to Tea – From Janet at M+M blog

I appreciated the collection of musings and blog-shares that artist and fellow blog-sister Janet Chui shared in her blog post. Janet gathered up a few of her favorite web-finds and musings of recent days, and the selection includes an invocation... Continue Reading →

Wildly Pronoiac Attitude Adjusters from the Babemba and Og

Both of these Attitude Adjusters brought to you by Rob Brezsny's Pronoia is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. I've been enjoying yet another (re)visit with this perception-shifting gem -- it's... Continue Reading →

Leaning Into Your Strengths – Empaths and Sensitives Series

Here's the latest article in the Empaths & Sensitives Series here at Sophia's Children. This one takes a look at a couple of ways that Empath-Sensitives can "live into their strengths" and gain more mastery over the gifts, while being more aware and skillful in the face of the challenges of being an Empathic-Sensitive in a loud and often bully- and Narcipath-favoring culture.

Deconstructing Bully Culture: Shaming Class, Poverty, and Difference; and Those Who Stand

"But human beings are not trash. We are the civilizing force on the planet." ~ Chris Offutt, "Trash Food" I came across a couple of articles this morning that stirred the fire-pot ... you know, that liquid lava center that... Continue Reading →

Is Matriotism the Future of the Divine Feminine?

Demeter Mourning for Persephone, 1906, by Evelyn de Morgan.
Demeter Mourning for Persephone, 1906, by Evelyn de Morgan.

Thanks to Laura Bruno for pointing the way to this excellent article in Waking Times, “Is Matriotism the Future of the Divine Feminine?” by Ethan Smith and Lucy Morales.

This is an important read and reflection for anyone who’s concerned about the horrible, Life-diminishing imbalances that have been crawling their way across the globe like some sort of living toxic-tar, whether that be what the authors call the poisonously violent “radical patriarchy” or the co-opted, “controlled opposition” feminism that the authors note and define.

It’ll also be an encouraging read and reflection for the many of us who’ve been changing our ways, radically simplifying, living into these questions, reclaiming the Sacred Feminine and thus tending the fertile ground for the Sacred Masculine, and embodying and seeding the shift to a healthier, more respectful balance.

Laura also mentions one of my Feminine Mojo Show episodes — series, actually — that I did a few years ago with John Lash. Though I don’t resonate with some of John’s more recent work, I still highly recommend his book, Not in His Image, some of the great resources on Metahistory.org, and the first couple of Feminine Mojo shows we did together on the Sophia Myths, Mysteries, and Gifts to us.

You’ll find the link in Laura’s post, but do click through to the Waking Times article she mentions as well — it invites some perspective-shifting.

Have a look; see what stirs in you.

Big Love,
Jamie

Laura Bruno's Blog

I’m happy to see a creeping acknowledgement of the importance of a major shift in gender relations and a return to appreciating the Goddess energies. This latest post on Waking Times asks important questions and explores evidence of a much more universal Mother culture than modern society likes to admit. As the world teeters on the brink of annihilation, may more and more people begin to recognize this much needed shift.

Is Matriotism the Future of the Divine Feminine?

This post also reminds me of an old John Lash interview on Feminine Mojo with Sophia’s Children blogger and Goddess lover Jamie Walters. I cannot say that I endorse everything John Lash has moved into in recent years; however, this 2011 talk beautifully articulates why –for the survival of humanity and any semblance of a healed, livable Earth — we need to reconnect with the living energies and Divine Wisdom…

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The Ways Narcissists Get Inside Your Head – from Self-Care Haven

My Bad Hair Day, by Anissa Bryant, April 2013. Generously shared in the public domain.
My Bad Hair Day, by Anissa Bryant, April 2013. Generously shared in the public domain.

I linked to Shahida Arabi’s excellent “Five Powerful Ways Abusive Narcissists Get Inside Your Headin my Sophia’s Children post on “When Withholding is a Toxic Tactic” (part of the ongoing Resources for Empaths & Sensitives Series).

But it’s so relevant on a number of levels, reflecting some of the less savory interpersonal dynamics that are considered normal in our interpersonal experiences at home, at work, in the community — and even moreso with a variety of research studies showing a disconcerting rise in Narcissistic behavior over the last 10-15 years.

And Narci (Etc.) tactics are well-honed and very, very effective.

They can leave even the most centered, confident, skillful, aware, and ‘successful’ people feeling spin-cycled, fogged-out, confused, upset, ashamed, and ultimately, a mere shell of themselves (as one Narci-abuse survivor, in our conversation, phrased the effects of being in a relationship with such a person).

As Carrie Barron, M.D., writes in her Psychology Today article aimed at those who were targeted by Narci-Abusers:

“Recent findings indicate they take pleasure in successful manipulations. Putting down unsuspecting, soft-hearted souls in their midst is a sport.”

In hindsight, those who became Narci-prey and were thus Narci-manipulated end up wondering, often with no small degree of internalized self-judgment and shame, “How the heck did that happen?”

Dr. Barron continues: “The transformation of a hopeful, can-do enthusiast into a dismal, wary withdrawer is a form of soul murder. But to those thus violated, take heart. Understanding the complexities of what/who you were dealing with might make you feel better.”

Even people who encounter some of the classic Narci-Abuser behaviors and tactics — if not full-tilt Malignant Narcissists or Socio/Psychopathic types — at work, at home, or in their communities (or online, for that matter), can benefit immensely from recognizing the tactic, becoming more aware, and stepping into more empowered choice rather than unconscious puppet-reaction.

So I wanted to share a couple of other links highlighting Shahida’s work from her Self-Care Haven blog.

She spotlights some of the specific toxic-tactics that, while normalized in a ‘tough love’, bully-centric culture, are actually abusive and harmful.

So it’s wise to have a look and be better able to recognize them as they come up, which gives us the option of practicing into more healthy, self-and-other respecting ways of relating (or choosing to disentangle from chronically disrespectful relationships).

I particularly appreciate that Shahida includes ‘Triangulation’ in her list of toxic-tactics to recognize, along with other common toxic-tactics like ‘gaslighting’ and ‘Hoovering’ (part of the recognized ‘stir and repeat’ Abuse Cycle), as Triangulation a common ploy and yet not as frequently noted.

Find another of Shahida’s Narci-Awareness posts here: 20 NarciPath Tactics to Be Aware of (and awareness is empowering)

https://sophias-children.com/2017/02/24/oh-those-narcipaths-shahidas-20-narci-tactics/

Check out Shahida’s most recent Self-Care Haven post: 5 Powerful Reality Checks for Survivors of Narci-Abuse.

Thanks to Shahida, and to you, my very dear and much-appreciated readers and fellow empaths and Sophia-kindred-spirits!

Big Love,
Jamie

Self-Care Haven by Shahida Arabi

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In popular culture, the term “narcissistic” is thrown about quite loosely, usually referring to vanity and self-absorption. This reduces narcissism to a common quality that everyone possesses and downplays the symptoms demonstrated by people with the actual disorder. While narcissism does exist on a spectrum, narcissism as a full-fledged personality disorder is quite different.

People who meet the criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder or those who have traits of Antisocial Personality Disorder  can operate in extremely manipulative ways within the context of intimate relationships due to their deceitfulness, lack of empathy and their tendency to be interpersonally exploitative. Although I will be focusing on narcissistic abusers in this post, due to the overlap of symptoms in these two disorders, this post can potentially apply to interactions with those who have ASPD to an extent.

It’s important in any kind of relationship that we learn to identify the red flags when interacting with people who display malignant narcissism and/or…

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Empaths+Sensitives Series: When ‘Withholding’ is a Toxic Tactic

That's right. Withholding as a toxic-normal interpersonal tactic. The proverbial simmering silent treatment or cold shoulder that leaves us (or others) wondering what the heck happened, what we did wrong (even if we didn't actually do anything wrong and sort... Continue Reading →

Resources for Empaths and Sensitives Series

Ahhh, to be an actual, 'just wired that way' Empath -- One who is naturally made to be more sensitive to the energy currents (subtle and not-so-subtle), including the thoughts and  emotions wafting and swirling around us at any given moment.... Continue Reading →

Empaths & Sensitives Series – Leveling [Part 3]

[This is Part 3 of the ongoing 'Wisdom for Empaths & Sensitives' series. If you haven't already, you'll want to read the intro article first - you'll find it here. The second post in this series shared more on these types of dynamics... Continue Reading →

Wisdom for Empaths & Sensitives: Offloads, Energy Vamps, and Other Occupational Hazards [Part 2]

[This is Part 2 following the initial post for this particular 'Wisdom for Empaths & Sensitives' series. You may wish to read that intro post first - you'll find it here.] In the Wisdom for Empaths & Sensitives intro-article, I emphasized... Continue Reading →

Resources for Empaths and Sensitives: Unveiling Offloads, Energy Vamps and Other Occupational Hazards [Part 1]

Welcome to the Resources for Empaths & Sensitives Series introductory post. As is the case with much of my writing and mentor-coaching, this series grew out of my own personal experience, as well as what I saw and learned over... Continue Reading →

“You’re too sensitive!” Not.

"You're too sensitive!" I heard that all the time while I was growing up, and have heard it on occasion since. I've heard it said to others, too, and know peeps who heard it as well. Like many who are... Continue Reading →

Be(A)ware of tantrums, outbursts, hissy fits, and offloads

Yes, we continue to navigate the ongoing Touchy Tantrum Zone that accompanies times of intense energies, archetypal pinches, and overall Big Transformation cycles. Perhaps you've felt it? Or maybe you've noticed it (or have been psychically vomited on ... see... Continue Reading →

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