It’s a record, I think, for me to have been away from Sophia’s Children (and, for the most part, “radio silence” from the internet altogether) this long.
There’s a reason for that — threats at the door, literally, and super-quick change as a result.
First, though, welcome to January; welcome to 2017; and happy Epiphany time.
Now, the story about the wild (and threatening) whirlwind that whipped into my life two weeks ago.
On Solstice night, 21 December — just over two weeks ago — Life did bring a whirlwind to my door. Here’s the ‘to sum up’ version.
I returned home at about 7:30 p.m. after a full work-day that started just shy of 12 hours earlier.
I hadn’t even turned my lights on when the person who dropped me off called me to say that a man had followed her from my house and, when she stopped at a red-light, got out of his vehicle, came up to her driver’s side window, and proceeded to threaten and harass her.
She’s someone whose work has for a long time included confrontation with aggressive types whose bully-oriented behavior borders and sometimes crosses the boundary into threat and violence, so for her to say, “This guy was out of control … crazy!” is saying something.
She called to let me know that, and share her concern that I, too, might be in imminent danger, since the person had clearly been lurking-in-wait near my home before following and harassing her.
True to her “Spidey Senses,” and my own (which were at ‘red alert’ at this point), while we were on the telephone, a sudden eruption of very loud, aggressive pounding at both front AND back doors and door-windows, began.
It was like a scene straight out of a “psychological thriller” movie, and my body did what it was supposed to do in the face of threat of imminent harm to itself — the body activated the Lizard Brain and flooded itself with the ‘red alert’ fight-flight-freeze biochemical survival-cocktail.
So the pounding on front and back doors and windows erupted; I was still on the phone with her, my own heart pounding at that point, and she and her partner who was standing several feet away from her both heard the sustained door-pounding and yelling (“I know you’re in there!”) through her phone.
In those alarming moments — maybe 10 minutes at that point — I felt sure that if the door was opened, I’d be assaulted or worse. And I was concerned about just that … that whoever was on the other side of the doors pounding and shouting would soon be inside my flat.
Thankfully, it seems a neighbor was home and heard the ruckus, and his appearance may well have short-circuited whatever else might have occurred just then.
(Funny what people assume they can get away with when they think no one else sees or hears, yes? Talk about ‘toxic normal’ NarciPath stuff!).
It finally quieted, and by that time the woman who had been followed from my house and threatened at a red-light had called the police and, in person, filed a police report about the incident.
We’d both agreed at that point that it was a very good thing to have that all on formal record.
I didn’t sleep much or well, needless to say, given the traumatic events of the evening, and was concerned that when I headed out for the workday early Thursday, I’d be threatened or followed.
Solstice night, 12/21, turned out to be the last night I spent in that flat.
I only went back for short periods and always in the presence of someone else. I followed advice and, having learned who it was, put out communications to ‘cease and desist all further threatening behavior immediately’.
From the next day, Thursday — when an unexpected little support circle rose up and ‘circled the wagons’ around me — a combination of fear and anxiety, and wild grace, worked in tandem in me and for me.
Between that Solstice Night and now, I quickly walked that tightrope of anxiety for my own and my circle’s literal safety and the Wild Grace arising to carry me through, and I quickly (and in only those ‘short spurts’ at the old place, and with help) relocated.
I’m grateful that the quick shift occurred without further in-person threat or aggression, despite the constant anxiety and fear for my safety and the safety and wellbeing of those helping me to ‘Relo’ in such a short time-frame (and over the holidays, no less).
From that night through yesterday, it was a nonstop 2 weeks.
And when I was finally able to stop and rest and go gently yesterday, I acutely felt the need for deep replenishment as ‘medicine’ for the bone-weary fatigue of mind and body.
I am very grateful for many things just now, including the fact that I learned the hard way not to ignore the replenishment thing, and thus know how to do it.
When we’ve experienced such a thing and are recovering from it, it’s a necessity rather than a luxury to replenish.
So there we have it … the reason for the ‘radio silence’ here since before the holiday and the reason for my gratitude for all that unfolded so that I can be sharing this ‘end-of-2016 and start-of-2017 adventure’ with you now.
No doubt, as I always do, I’ll stir this recent experience and the insights that arise from it into the creative cauldron, and share whatever flows out as lantern-lights for others.
About 2016 …
I’ve heard from so many people, directly and indirectly, that 2016 was, for many, a very challenging and difficult year.
For me, 2016 was a mixed bag — a few marked constrictions and challenges that seemed very much outside of my control or very resistant to efforts to ‘remedy’ or ‘fix’ (the one I just shared being the most acute of these).
Then there were some unexpected and very beautiful blessings as well.
The year seemed to end with stark examples of both the ‘whirlwind’ and the ‘wild grace’ phenomena!
A few of you shared with me that 2016 was such a difficult year you were very, very glad that we passed from it to a new calendar year — 2017.
And now, 2017 …
Sometimes those ‘calendar milestones’ can be just that important — in this moment, we begin anew (remember that one?).
As mentor Caroline Casey says, “Now we’re into breaking spells.”
After the wild thrill-ride that unfolded these last two weeks for me, I’ll be using my full ‘magic backpack’ repertoire of practices and handy resources to re-center, replenish, and renew.
Only from that place, will the intuitive guidance, insight, ‘meaning-making’, and ‘next-step epiphanies’ spring forth.
In the meanwhile, here is some ‘perfect for right now’ Muse Food from the Sophia’s Children treasure-vault:
Since I was a bit, er, distracted from Sophia’s Children updates for this past week or so, I’ve also still got the December special offerings up — for another day or two.
Stir your insight and inspiration with a Sophiastrology or coaching consultation:
Wishing you Plentiful Grace as the days and weeks unfold.