Falling leaves on a bridge. Image courtesy of Best Wallpaper Design.
Falling leaves on a bridge. Image courtesy of Best Wallpaper Design.

Julia at Painted Path writes this in her recent post, Falling Apart:

“Imagine dropping, really setting down, who we think others want us to be, who we think we should be, and just being who we are. Who we already are.

So what if some people stop liking us, stop “following” us, stop being our friend.

Imagine if we stopped thinking parts of us aren’t okay. Imagine if we opened up wider and embraced our sadness, allowed ourselves to rest inside it, just as much as we allowed ourselves to open to big, wide eyed, wide armed joy?

What a fucking relief this would be.

My hope for me, for you, for each and every one of us, is that we can drop who we think we’re supposed to be and show up just as we are, right now, in THIS very moment. That we can let it all BE just what it is.”

Oh, yeah. I can hear all manner of parts within me cheering wildly at this bit of utterly honest, vulnerable insight from Julie.

Masque Ball, 1839, by Charles Herman.
Masque Ball, 1839, by Charles Herman.

Because I know — and maybe you can relate to this, too — that it’s also utterly futile and depleting to continue trying to be seen, heard, approved of, recognized, appreciated, and so on by folks who — for whatever reason — just can’t or won’t do any of those things.

No matter how much we contort ourselves to do their bidding … to get their love or ‘earn’ their approval … they’re diminishing rather than believing mirrors.

“You wear a mask for so long, you forget who you were beneath it.”~ Alan Moore, V for Vendetta

After journeying awhile, we get to a point (the Chiron Return?) where propping up the false self seems more and more just a waste of perfectly good energy and magic. We yearn to reveal the real deal in all its quirky, weird, wabi-sabi-flawed, unique beauty.

Fifty is when the madwoman in the attic breaks loose, stomps down the stairs, and lights the house on fire. She won’t be held captive any more. ~ Erica Jong*

Who we were before that mask, who resides beneath that mask, is who we are; it doesn’t forget us because it’s ever in us.

Le Bal Masque (The Mask Ball), 1862, by Albert Lynch (1851-1912)
Le Bal Masque (The Mask Ball), 1862, by Albert Lynch (1851-1912)

It calls, it taps, it yearns, it plucks our heartstrings, and wakes us up at night. It bubbles up out of us like lava. It starts breaking down that attic door.

And often, in these times, it will get our attention. That essential part of us wants to be let out of its prison, called home from exile. It wants to be alive, expressed, strengthened, and shared.

Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive and then go do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive. ~ Howard Thurman

That’s a fine thing; it’s what we’re here for … or at least one of the major bits of our purpose here … to actually be who we really are, and be that here. If it were that easy, of course, it wouldn’t be an issue, eh? But it’s doable, and definitely part of the desirable story (vs. the undesirable story!).

So a heartful intention-seed planted, a sacred vow to self and Life and the Holy Divine made, and one step at a time from right here where we are in this very moment.

So here’s a blessing on us:

May you be, by grace, more and more easily who you truly are; may what has real heart, and joy, and meaning flower through you; and may that give you joy and wellbeing, and radiate the same to all around you.

Let’s say it … Now I Become Myself.

You can read Julia’s full, fine Falling Apart post at her Painted Path blog here.

Big Love and Be, Be, Be … Just Exactly Who You Are.


* Note – There are a couple slight variations of this Erica Jong quote. I’d written a slightly different version after reading it in a book some years ago, and I’ve come across slightly different versions since. Either way, we get the gist.